Re: Lost in Translation

The previous post came from a note scribbled in a notebook about two years ago, following a rather difficult conversation with my then-fickle boyfriend .

Although we are occasionally nervous about the plans for the future (which seem to be falling into place in spite of our fears), we are hopeful.

Love is like climbing Mt. Everest... frightening and beautiful.

Lost in Translation

People do actually say what they mean, it's just a matter of translating what was said into what was meant.

He told me, "To be perfectly honest, I'm not totally sure I'm ready for that kind of commitment."

First of all, nobody is "perfectly honest" in adult relationships.
The word perfectly may as well be exchanged for the word partially; a word which cancels out the one that follows...honest.
So now, his lips are moving, but the words have destroyed each other, leaving behind smoke and ash that slips through my fingers and flutters to the floor.

Conscious Consciousness

Written 12/29/2006

Seconds before consciousness sweeps over me, I feel myself breathing. The first breath feels like the first of my life, though I know they have been coming in rhythmic pattern for 27 years.
Slowly, I become aware of my body. Lithe limbs tingling, a wave of warmth moving inward towards my spine. The wave finds its way to my dream-weary mind and rests there.

Consciousness.

I feel as if I have just been plugged in. The currents of reality course through my body. At once, I am part of this universe. Interminably attached. My place in it carefully carved out.
Then comes the familiar longing. The desire to push at the boundaries of my place in the universe. My arms stretch out in response. Fingers brush against obligations, memories and expectation. Though threaded together, they give way at my touch.
There is room to grow.
Hope swells.
It is at this moment that my eyes flutter open. Just before the light of day reflects off each surface of the world around me, I catch a glimpse of it.
Opportunity.
A chance for freedom.

Education Reform

This whole blog was intended to be about changes. At the start of it, I had no idea that even the changes I planned to make would change.

I've long been planning to enroll in graduate school to earn an MFA in Creative Writing. I love writing (though I don't do it nearly as often as I should).
But somehow, the application deadlines came and went. I did not apply. Primarily because there's always been this nagging doubt in a small, quiet corner of my mind. Also because, quite frankly, I didn't have the money.

As fate would have it, doors have begun swinging open in other areas. A growing part of my role at YES has been to support/mentor other teachers. It is something that comes naturally.

• I run into a teacher in the lounge.
• He/she mentions some issue in his/her classroom.
• Ideas pop into my mind about what could be done.
• I offer the suggestions (or other resources).
• I follow up with them later.
• I get a HUGE burst of satisfaction when the situation improves.
  

Now, there's a strong possibility that I could be eligible for a more formal position which would allow me to do just that!

I'm passionate about education. The "system", for reasons innumerable, is in desperate need of reform. Only recently have I begun to realize that I could have a much greater influence in the world of public education than what I've been able to make in my classroom...even in the classrooms of fellow teachers.

So now, I'm reforming my education plans. A Master's degree in Education - Curriculum and Instruction is beginning to make more sense. There are a couple of institutions that offer flexible programs for working individuals.
After that, I could pursue an Ed.D. in Educational Leadership and Policy.
Always a planner, I find myself thrilled by the feasibility...the almost tangible possibility of such a 5-6 year plan.

I have goosebumps right now.

Now, to get the ball rolling. Where do I begin?