S.M.U.R.F.S.

Today I stayed home from school, recuperating from yet another bout with upper respiratory issues. For the 3rd time in 6 weeks, I was blindsided by some coughing-sore throat-headache combo, this time accompanied by a rather scary-sounding hoarseness. I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon. One hour in the waiting room and 5 minutes of routine poking and take-a-deep breaths later, I was diagnosed with chronic sinusitis and handed a prescription for an antibiotic.
I was mildly disappointed. It seemed like this disease that keeps reincarnating itself every 2 weeks should be called something more rare-sounding than sinusitis. It first appeared disguised as the flu, reappeared about 3 weeks later bringing with it runny nose, watery eyes and sneezing fits, this time...coughing and post-nasal drip (gross...I know).
You'd think that the last few years of teaching would have made me immune to most of the diseases passed around by the germ-infested youth. Guess not.
Anyway, thanks to the internet and several episodes of Mystery Diagnosis, I've figured out EXACTLY what I have.
Semi-Mutating Upper Respiratory Facultative Syndrome (S.M.U.R.F.S)
Aptly named seeing as, right now, I sound a bit like Papa Smurf.The treatment for this disease is antibiotic (cefuroxime), cough medicine (preferably something that will make you delirious), plenty of water (to wash down the nasty antibiotic horse pill), food (to be vomited up due to the antibiotic) and pain reliever (for the headache and dizziness caused by the stupid antibiotic).

Ideally, one would have a few days in bed to rest. I had one....half of which was spent responding to emails, grading week-old exams and obsessing about how on God's green earth I could finish grading and teaching everything before Thanksgiving break.

Medical researchers (like me) are still seeking a cure for S.M.U.R.F.S.
Donations are welcome.