Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

The last few weeks have been hellacious. Frantic days, restless evenings, random outbursts of tears. These were just the aftershocks, but Uncertainty is the fault line.
When I began this blog 2 months ago, I thought I had it all outlined. Grad school would be the focus and this writing project would be all about getting there. Now, I'm not sure.
Relax.
I'm not trying to say I've changed my mind.
But I have had to change my course.
The road I once thought was wide and all-encompassing, has diverged.
I THINK both lead to the same place (not that I can be sure).
Down one path, I must continue giving my whole self to a rewarding, yet highly-demanding job, hoping to parcel out enough time to apply for and attend a low-residency master's program. Obstacles have already begun to appear along that path. Extra responsibilities, special projects and programs, due dates, unresponsive and unappreciative students. The people and things neglected in favor of my life-job are beginning to revolt. I feel lost.
But I've come upon another path. The entry is narrow, but it seems to open into a wide field of possibilities. However, it requires that I put down my life-job and open myself to others...positions that would give me room to breathe and be.
For the first time in 4 years, I'm beginning to believe that I could live a life which INCLUDES a job, rather than having a job that IS my life.
I've broken out my binoculars and peered down this path. There are some promising opportunities out there. So, I'm brushing up my resume and sending it on ahead of me via carrier pigeon (since internet seems to be a illusive luxury both at my life-job and my home).

For now, I must continue down the other road (stalling isn't an option). But you better believe I'll be watching for the carrier pigeon to come back with the message that all's clear. I'll cut a hard left so fast, God'll do a double-take.

Both paths appear to be an uphill climb. The sign for where they both lead is hidden in the fog. But I believe in God (and Flannery). Everything that rises must converge.